New additions to BOU list and the discovery of the Tachyon particle.

In a move considered long overdue by many birders, the British Ornithological Union have announced that the farmyard chicken has been added to the A list of birds recognised as recorded wild in the UK. The results of DNA analysis just in has confirmed the species as yummiyummisundilunchiemus. This is very welcome news to those birders currently in lockdown who have been fortunate enough to see this great rarity as it gives their UK lists an armchair tick.

In an additional surprising move the BOU have announced that the Chinese Pond Heron has been admitted to the A list, but the Dodo, recently seen in the vicinity of the British Natural History Museum, has been placed on the D list. This has led to some birders questioning the validity of BOU's listing criteria.

In further exciting news scientists at CERN have announced the discovery of the Tachyon; the so called second god particle which bestows time on the universe. By plugging detailed new measurements of the rest mass of the Tachyon into Schrodinger's equation it has been discovered that our current calibration of time is slightly wrong. In order to correct this it has been decided that time will stand still for precisely one minute at 12:00 today. In practice most people will notice no change, but if, for example, you are boiling an egg at midday, you will need to add one minute onto the cooking time to avoid it being undercooked.

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The Standlake Birder

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